Thursday, July 31, 2008

Careful what you wish for...

Well, in the immortal(ly creepy) words of The Joker (see response to Ben #7), "I'm a man of my word." Several of y'all made various random requests re: future blog posts by yours truly, and I intend to deliver. So, after several days of development, here we go...

I'll start with Bradley's, which is by far the easiest:

"...maybe an undefeated Tennessee Titans upcoming season?"

I'm tempted to go on a rant about how overrated Vince Young is, and how amazed I am the Titans finished as well as they did last year with a QB that has a 2-to-1 INT-to-TD ration, but I'll restrain myself in favor of the more succinct "You wish." Offhandedly, looking at their schedule, I'm predicting 9-7. Though if Young does live up to this supposed potential I keep hearing about, there's an outside shot at 11-5.

(As an aside/shoutout, Bradley is in the midst of developing an exciting business venture called The Score. Read his post about it here, and follow its progress at The Score blog.)

And now onto Ben's myriad random questions:

"1. If you were a movie star, what would your superpower be and would that be any help with the papperazzi?"

Invisibility. So yes. It's a scary superpower though; the temptation to use it in naughty ways would be almost too great to withstand.

"2. Is there a God?"

Probably. (See #6 for a less shitty/cryptic response.)

"3. Is there a dog?"

There may be one in the not-too-distant future, most likely a basset hound, but as of now, no. This was actually discussed this weekend (see #4 below). I would love to have one, but I'm not sure how it would fit into my life right now. (As I've often joked, I need a woman so I can get a dog and then have some help taking care of it.)

"4. What did you do this weekend?"

I don't like bringing too much personal stuff into the blog, but I went up to D.C. to visit the sister (and the mom, who was also in town).

"5. What random topic inspired you to make your first sarcastic comment this morning?"

Since I don't keep track of these things particularly well (after all, I make many sarcastic comments in a typical day), I'll refer you to one I do remember: my comment on Jeff's blog post from earlier today.

"6. Seriously, do you believe there's a God?"

I prefer to answer this question as follows: one Saturday night last year, I was driving across the alliterative Courtney Campbell Causeway at twilight. The sky was a pinkish navy blue, and to the east I could see the lights coming on in Tampa, and to the south they flickered to life in St. Petersburg. My car windows were down, the smell of salt water mixed with car exhaust that hung in the air was oddly fragrant. On my car CD player, Holly was just bursting through the church doors to tell the congregation how a resurrection really feels. And in that moment, fleeting though it may have been, everything just seemed to make sense.

So yes, Virginia, there is a God. But I'm not sure any single religion yet has been able to capture His* sheer Awesomeness. It's probably beyond mortal comprehension anyway.

* The female body is proof that God is definitely male. Kinda like how the duck-billed platypus is proof that He has a great sense of humor.

"7. How awesome is The Dark Knight? Because I thought it was pretty DARN awesome."

I would have to agree. One of my co-workers said something to the effect of "It was so good I'm already disappointed by the third one." I don't really have much to add beyond what has already been posted on Matt's blog, so I'll link there. (The ongoing discussion about villains for the third movie is interesting, though they've completely lost me with the recent "elevator" thread. Perhaps they could enlighten me?)

"8. Why do you want a blog? Get to basics. For what purpose do you keep a blog? Write stuff for that purpose."

It's gone through several incarnations: originally, it was just random updates from the life of Mike; then, it became primarily political rants with occasional randomness; now, more randomness and less political rants. I suppose I wouldn't mind returning to the more political roots (one of my inexplicable pet topics popped up in the previous post). You would think during as big an election year as this I'd have more to talk about, but I'm really still sorting things out. I imagine posts about the election will increase as the conventions draw nigh and I make my official prediction. (Astute readers may remember that my 2004 prediction turned out to be absurdly accurate, even though a full 40% of my former roommates told me I was crazy.)

And as for Matt's final request...

"I'd like a post explaining why "Underdog" isn't the best song on Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga."

Sorry Matt, I don't have an intelligent answer for you. I just know that "Black Like Me" is by far the song I've listened to the most off the album, thus I have to conclude it's my favorite. [It may be worth noting that Pitchfork agrees with me (Hitchhiker's fans would do well to note the song's ranking). Not that anyone needs to give a damn about what Pitchfork says (I mean, seriously, Deerhoof? WTF?), but still, it may be worth noting.] I can't really offer any musical explanation (except maybe that I prefer pianos to horns) so I'm forced to go with mere preference. Or with the far more accurate answer of "Underdog" is the best song on Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga for you, but not for me. That's possible, right?

It's funny how many of you mentioned music, as I have several musically-oriented ideas for future posts careening around this hollow head of mine. Stay tuned. Hopefully the blogging will increase.

"She's gonna pick a star in the night
And pray to make it all right
She tried so hard not to pick a kite
She always prayed to headlights"
- the Wallflowers, Three Marlenas

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Rainy Day Bloggings #12 & 35

I will respond to everyone's requests at some point in the very near future, but first I wanted to give a brief shout-out, one that I thought I would never say.


Yay Barney Frank!

Best quote: "The vast amount of human activity ought to be none of the government's business." There's also a clear element of states' rights to make their own laws in the proposal. Classical conservatism from a Democrat. You gotta love it.

I'm sure you think you know what song lyric is coming based on the post's title, but you'd be wrong... (don't look for logic, it's just what's playing as I type).

"He kinda shoulda sorta woulda loved her if he could've
He'd rather be alone than pretend"
- the Lemonheads, Confetti

Friday, July 25, 2008

Calling all readers (if they still exist)

I know, I know. Recently this blog has withered away to nothing except occasional one-off posts with little substance. But I hope to change that, and that hope begins right now. I'm about to leave town for the weekend, and when I come back, I hope to see a plethora of comments from you, the reader. What would you like me to blog about? Absolutely nothing is off-limits (man, I know I'm gonna regret saying that). Hit me with your best shot, and I will do my best to address your requests.

"In the end all you can hope for
Is the love you felt to equal the pain you've gone through"
- the Editors, Bones

Monday, July 21, 2008

...but he's still a Cowboy

This story about T.O. is actually pretty cool (and certainly unexpected). If nothing else, it highlights what I've said my entire life: you never know the whole story with someone.

But, as the title of this post emphasizes, T.O. is still a Cowboy, and thus a moving part in that throbbing mass of pure evil that emerges from the pits of Hell to invade Dallas every autumn.

"In the dead of night it'll be alright
Because I'll be there for you when you want me to"
- New Order, 60 Miles an Hour

Friday, July 11, 2008

A one-hit wonder and a desperate housewife

Jeff (along with me in the comments section) has already ranted sufficiently about the ridiculousness of some of the selections to this year's All-Star teams. Now, with fan voting for the final All-Star slots finished, we have Corey Hart of the Brewers for the National League and Evan Longoria of the Rays (yay) for the American League.

Two solid selections to round out this year's lineups, and it's hard for me to disagree that both of these guys deserve an appearance in the All-Star game. Still, I can't help but wonder if most fans were humming "Sunglasses at Night" and picturing a hot Latina as they cast their votes. I guess we'll never know.

Seriously, please tell me I'm not the only one for whom that's the first thought that occurred to him.

"I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can, so I can"

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Ode to beer

George Will has a great ode to beer in today's Washington Post. His conclusion? "Beer is a health food." Which is why the Twenty-First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is the best one of all. (Except of course for the First, Fourth, Ninth, Tenth, Thirteenth thru Fifteenth, Nineteenth, and Twenty-Fourth.)

"Oh alcohol I still drink to your health"
- Barenaked Ladies, Alcohol

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Oh no! They're going to attack us with underwear and bovine jism!

Really, CNN? How interesting...

Seems to me like quite a subtle and effective way for us to thwart Iran, a nation we suspect of harboring terrorists and having nuclear aspirations, is to ship them a bunch of useless shit in exchange for money. Hell, our number one export to them (cigarettes) is something known to be harmful to one's health. If we can't stop them from going "nucular", maybe we can just make it really really hard for them to breathe.

And seriously, what in the everloving crap are they doing with that much bull cum? On second thought, I don't want to know.

UPDATE: Apparently, John McCain made the same joke I did with regards to cigarettes, except (I would argue) a little more confrontational and mean-spirited. Maybe this means I should vote for him... then again, maybe not.

"These are times that can't be weathered"
- Rilo Kiley, Pictures of Success

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

The greatest sentence ever written

The more I think about it, the more I believe that the greatest sentence ever written in the history of time is:

"The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people." - the U.S. Constitution

Coming in at a very close second is the following:

"Fuck the Dallas Cowboys if they can't take a joke." - Tom Robbins

This utterly useless waste of blog space has been brought to you by Mike's lack of sleep last night.

Song lyric of the day:
"And this dirt was a building before
Shut it down before they opened the door
Don't shout, don't holler, don't you cry
What is passed, we'll just leave it behind"
- Wolf Parade, Soldier's Grin