Mike's Car Turns 100
In honor of the recent 100th birthday of Mike's car, "The Blog to End All Blogs" is extremely proud to present...
Mike's Car
A Career Retrospective
April 1997: It was love at first sight, much like Yossarian and the Chaplain. The salesman at the Saturn dealer asked Mike if he would be interested in looking at one of the previous year's models, and took him to a dark blue 1997 SC2 with 130 test drive miles on it. Mike drove it off the lot that day.
June 1998: Application of the only bumper sticker Mike's car would ever bear causes Bill Gates to nickname it "The Vandelay Mobile". This same month, the newly christened Vandelay Mobile ventures out of state for the first time, heading to Baltimore to witness an Orioles-Braves interleague matchup.
September 1998: Mike's car makes the first of many voyages to Stafford, VA, where it receives a free, professional quality detailing job by a young man who would later take to referring to himself as "Other White Meat" in the blogosphere (and hopefully nowhere else).
May 1999: Mike's car is sidelined for three weeks by its first major injury If we ignore the infamous "Traffic Cone Wars" of October 1999 (which Jeff inarguably won), this is also Mike's car's only major injury.
July 1999: Mike's car hops a truck bound for Laguna Hills, California, knowing it won't stay there too long, because...
August 1999: ...it's subsequently bound for Nashville, Tennessee, bearing two Mikes. This represents Mike's car's first major road trip, but certainly not its last.
May 2000: Mike's car puts up tent stakes in Nashville while Mike heads to Laguna Hills for the summer. This will is the longest Mike and Mike's car have been separated, but come autumn, they renew their relationship as if nothing has changed.
October 2000: Due to Vanderbilt's instantiation of Fall Break, Mike's car embarks on the first of many road trips from Nashville to Washington, D.C.
February 2001: On a whim, Mike's car accompanies Jeff's car (may it rest in peace) on a midnight road trip around central Tennessee. This road trip is later immortalized in the Jimmy B and the Fortune 500 song Destination: Nowhere, allowing Mike to forever claim to be a "published songwriter".
May 2002: Mike's car makes the first of many trips from Nashville to Atlanta, for the sadly-now-defunct Music Midtown festival, before heading up to Washington, D.C. (again) for the wedding of the aforementioned Other White Meat.
May 2003: First, Mike's car heads to Florida for the first time for senior week. (It foolishly assumes at the time this will also be its last voyage to Florida.) Then, it heads back to Nashville briefly, and then conveys now-college-graduate Mike to Louisville, Kentucky and then (again) to Washington, D.C.
October 2003: Mike's car makes its first voyage to Houston, Texas, by way of Nashville. It has no idea at the time just how much time it will spend in that city.
August 2004: Mike's car arrives at the graduate student apartments at Rice University for an extended stay.
February 2006: After making a brief stop in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Mike's car returns to Florida, this time to the Tampa area.
August 2006: Mike's car makes its first Tampa-to-Atlanta road trip, then heads on to Nashville to allow Mike to participate in Ben's wedding. (Mike's car was sad that it was unable to accompany Mike to Jeff's wedding the following year. It never quite forgave Mike.)
September 1, 2008: Around 5 PM, on US Hwy 19, near the thriving metropolis of Leesburg, GA, Mike's car turns 100. As in 100,000 miles. 100,000 crazy miles.
Clearly, Mike's car's career has been chaotic and unpredictable. What do the next 100,000 miles have in store? Only time will tell. And time, being intangible, is remaining silent at the moment.
"Let's go get lost anywhere in the U.S.A."
- Red Hot Chili Peppers, Road Trippin'
A Career Retrospective
April 1997: It was love at first sight, much like Yossarian and the Chaplain. The salesman at the Saturn dealer asked Mike if he would be interested in looking at one of the previous year's models, and took him to a dark blue 1997 SC2 with 130 test drive miles on it. Mike drove it off the lot that day.
June 1998: Application of the only bumper sticker Mike's car would ever bear causes Bill Gates to nickname it "The Vandelay Mobile". This same month, the newly christened Vandelay Mobile ventures out of state for the first time, heading to Baltimore to witness an Orioles-Braves interleague matchup.
September 1998: Mike's car makes the first of many voyages to Stafford, VA, where it receives a free, professional quality detailing job by a young man who would later take to referring to himself as "Other White Meat" in the blogosphere (and hopefully nowhere else).
May 1999: Mike's car is sidelined for three weeks by its first major injury If we ignore the infamous "Traffic Cone Wars" of October 1999 (which Jeff inarguably won), this is also Mike's car's only major injury.
July 1999: Mike's car hops a truck bound for Laguna Hills, California, knowing it won't stay there too long, because...
August 1999: ...it's subsequently bound for Nashville, Tennessee, bearing two Mikes. This represents Mike's car's first major road trip, but certainly not its last.
May 2000: Mike's car puts up tent stakes in Nashville while Mike heads to Laguna Hills for the summer. This will is the longest Mike and Mike's car have been separated, but come autumn, they renew their relationship as if nothing has changed.
October 2000: Due to Vanderbilt's instantiation of Fall Break, Mike's car embarks on the first of many road trips from Nashville to Washington, D.C.
February 2001: On a whim, Mike's car accompanies Jeff's car (may it rest in peace) on a midnight road trip around central Tennessee. This road trip is later immortalized in the Jimmy B and the Fortune 500 song Destination: Nowhere, allowing Mike to forever claim to be a "published songwriter".
May 2002: Mike's car makes the first of many trips from Nashville to Atlanta, for the sadly-now-defunct Music Midtown festival, before heading up to Washington, D.C. (again) for the wedding of the aforementioned Other White Meat.
May 2003: First, Mike's car heads to Florida for the first time for senior week. (It foolishly assumes at the time this will also be its last voyage to Florida.) Then, it heads back to Nashville briefly, and then conveys now-college-graduate Mike to Louisville, Kentucky and then (again) to Washington, D.C.
October 2003: Mike's car makes its first voyage to Houston, Texas, by way of Nashville. It has no idea at the time just how much time it will spend in that city.
August 2004: Mike's car arrives at the graduate student apartments at Rice University for an extended stay.
February 2006: After making a brief stop in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Mike's car returns to Florida, this time to the Tampa area.
August 2006: Mike's car makes its first Tampa-to-Atlanta road trip, then heads on to Nashville to allow Mike to participate in Ben's wedding. (Mike's car was sad that it was unable to accompany Mike to Jeff's wedding the following year. It never quite forgave Mike.)
September 1, 2008: Around 5 PM, on US Hwy 19, near the thriving metropolis of Leesburg, GA, Mike's car turns 100. As in 100,000 miles. 100,000 crazy miles.
Clearly, Mike's car's career has been chaotic and unpredictable. What do the next 100,000 miles have in store? Only time will tell. And time, being intangible, is remaining silent at the moment.
"Let's go get lost anywhere in the U.S.A."
- Red Hot Chili Peppers, Road Trippin'
3 Comments:
lets see if i can remember a few things about your Saturn.
It was between the Saturn and a Honda Civic, correct? You picked the Saturn because it had a Cd player, correct?
You probably only waxed the Saturn probably 4 times its whole life. Poor thing.
I was never able to get out that juice spill, correct?
Though it only had one major injury you did get into a accident 3 times with it, right?
I love that car. That car is YOU. I can't imagine you driving anything else, save for a corvette. Damn you Mike. I want a road trip.
Here's to another 100....
It was between the Saturn and a Honda Civic, but the Saturn began with a tape player. My dad surprised me by having the CD player put in when we took it in for its first check-up.
You have waxed the Saturn every time it's been waxed, so you would know. And no, you never did get the juice spill out, but you made a pretty good dent in it.
There were two other accidents, but neither even led to so much as the Saturn going into the shop (or the other car involved in either case, for that matter). So they hardly qualify.
wow, so I did remember a lot. See I care about your car.
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