Friday, November 02, 2007

Attention Hollywood

As soon as the supposed screenwriter's strike begins, I am offering up my services as a screenwriter. I have substantial experience (read: a horrible "Naked Gun"-inspired screenplay written with friends in middle school, and an utterly incoherent though frequently hilarious screenplay written in college I sometimes take credit for even though it was mostly Jeff and Ben) and, perhaps more importantly, I am willing to accept a moderate salary that is barely a percentage of movie budgets these days. Really, I can spew forth from my pen -- er, keyboard -- the same recycled drivel that has pervaded mainstream screens for the last several years. Just give me a chance.

Song lyric of the day:
"I wrote you, and told you
You were the biggest fish out here
You should have never gone to Hollywood
All you bitches put your hands and wave them like you just don't care"
- System of a Down, Lost in Hollywood

3 Comments:

Blogger Barzelay said...

SCAB!

November 02, 2007 11:33 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Actually, I can't take that much credit for Cherry Cream Soda, either. I came up with several of the odd ideas and inspirations, but I wrote pretty much none of the dialogue and sort of fell out of the creative process at some point due to being too darn busy.

So does this mean that Jeff actually did pretty much all the grunt work of writing our incoherent screenplay?

November 08, 2007 6:10 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Oh yeah, definitely. (I think Ashok, as the random hobo, helped a little too.) I wrote the interview scene, the guitar player scene, the airport scene, the first bar scene (with "Rick" the bartender), most of the scenes with the random intellectuals, the flashback scene after the funeral, the final scene in front of the theater - you know, pretty much all the scenes that contributed rather than detracted from the incoherence. Everything that in any way resembled a plot was all Jeff.

Of course, in fairness, you wrote the intro scene, and the "you deserve to die" opening was your idea. A lot of the random surrealist imagery was you too.

I still contend that damn thing has potential...

November 09, 2007 10:14 AM  

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