I can't believe I forgot to tell this story
I was telling this story for the third or fourth time earlier, and I suddenly realized I had neglected to mention it on my blog. Hopefully y'all will find it as amusing as I do. Anyway, here goes...
A few weeks ago we had a primary election here in sunny Florida. The Saturday immediately before, I received a phone call around 9 in the morning. Not wanting to climb out of bed, I let the machine pick up, and listened to it groggily. To paraphrase, here was the gist of the message left:
"Hi there, I'm Some Guy and I'm calling on behalf of So-and-So, your candidate for some sort of office focused on economics [I think it was financial advisor or something along those lines]. So-and-So is pro-life, pro-gun, and has a solid track record of supporting lower taxes and... [this was the point I buried my head underneath the pillow, but there wasn't much more besides a simple request for support, and I'm sure some platitude about education]."
I really wish I had saved the message so I could repeat it verbatim, but the above synopsis hits the high points. It was only later, when fully conscious, that I recognized how hilarious it was.
But anyway, for anyone planning to run for office who might happen across this blog, let's review what this candidate and his supporter did wrong:
Thanks anyway for the call, So-and-So. I got a good laugh out of it.
Song lyric of the day:
"Life is good when it's in your hands
And nobody can change your world
I'm just waiting for the light to change"
- Tonic, Waiting for the Light to Change
A few weeks ago we had a primary election here in sunny Florida. The Saturday immediately before, I received a phone call around 9 in the morning. Not wanting to climb out of bed, I let the machine pick up, and listened to it groggily. To paraphrase, here was the gist of the message left:
"Hi there, I'm Some Guy and I'm calling on behalf of So-and-So, your candidate for some sort of office focused on economics [I think it was financial advisor or something along those lines]. So-and-So is pro-life, pro-gun, and has a solid track record of supporting lower taxes and... [this was the point I buried my head underneath the pillow, but there wasn't much more besides a simple request for support, and I'm sure some platitude about education]."
I really wish I had saved the message so I could repeat it verbatim, but the above synopsis hits the high points. It was only later, when fully conscious, that I recognized how hilarious it was.
But anyway, for anyone planning to run for office who might happen across this blog, let's review what this candidate and his supporter did wrong:
- Calling someone on Saturday at 9 in the morning is not likely to inspire support. Less so if that someone had been drinking Friday evening.
- Being both pro-life and pro-gun is possible, but tricky. I mean, sure, guns don't kill people, people kill people, but guns certainly allow people to put big gaping holes in the vital organs of other people, thus facilitating the killing process.
- But really, in the end, if you are running for a purely economical position, I and any remotely intelligent individual doesn't give two flying shits about your points of view on saving zygotes and killing adults. If you'd led with the lower taxes, I might have actually considered what you had to say. But seeing as you were obviously trying to simply cater to the radical right base that admittedly fills this area, I instead wrote you off as a panderer who I probably don't want handling my and other people's hard-earned money.
Thanks anyway for the call, So-and-So. I got a good laugh out of it.
Song lyric of the day:
"Life is good when it's in your hands
And nobody can change your world
I'm just waiting for the light to change"
- Tonic, Waiting for the Light to Change
7 Comments:
Requesting permission to add these suggested rules to my prior list of rules for social activism on politics since I need a list for phone conversations. All of this will happen as soon as I pick myself up off the floor.
That's awesome. I guess he wants to give birth to your money, then shoot it.
I can't tell you how many times I've been calling for my State House candidate and people have complained about the war in Iraq. As if someone in the STATE LEGISLATURE can do something about that.
And I don't know who the hell calls at 9AM on a Saturday. Most of the campaign workers I know are under 30 and are therefore not likely to be awake at that hour either.
I'm awake at 9:00 AM on a Saturday. What's your point?
:P
Aaron - permission granted.
Jeff - I'd also imagine most of the campaign workers you know are Democrats. This guy (I want to say his name was Randy Johnson, but I might just be thinking of a tall pitcher) was a Republican, which means most of his supporters are awake at 6.
Ben - no comment on that one. In fairness, due to the whole job routine, I rarely sleep much past 9 (my weekday wakeup time) myself - but on weekends I like to at least try.
Sometimes I wish I were registered as an unaffiliated, just so I could see what the Republicans are saying in their calls...
There are disadvantages to being registered as an independent. For example, due to a Florida statute, I cannot vote in either primary, whereas in Texas, you just showed up and told them which party primary you wanted to vote in.
I dunno Barzelay, that seems to requiresentirely too much foresight, and I, like most of the fickle American population, am much more of a "what have you done for me lately" type.
Honestly, that's a good point, but my counterargument is that, from a personal perspective, I am much more conservative (almost to the level of being "moderate") economically than I am socially. This candidate would have much greater chance earning my vote by sticking to the issues he would be involved with, and in essence lost my vote by sticking to the non-important hot button topics. To use your words, I don't want to jumpstart the political career of an "asshole."
On the same token, he probably won more votes than he lost using this campaign, thanks to the large numbers of people who only vote for candidates based on their abortion viewpoints. I know entirely too many otherwise intelligent people who fall into this category, and it saddens me.
Ultimately, it might actually be a good campaign tactic. But, in the immortal words of the pirate who got a steering wheel caught on his zipper, it drives me nuts.
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