Points to ponder
From an email I received a while ago (not sure of the source, but this isn't original, other than some small changes I made), I wanted to offer my loyal readers (if there are any left given my recent lapse in updates) the following things to consider:
We now return you to your regularly scheduled lives.
- On cows and immigrants: Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington and they tracked her calves to their stalls? But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.
- On the Constitution: You know, they keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.
- On the Ten Commandments: Ever wonder the real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse? Well, the truth is you can't post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians -- it creates a hostile work environment.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled lives.
9 Comments:
"Thou shalt not lie"? Where was that one?
On immigration - remember that it benefits the government's corporate patrons to have illegal labor in the country. Legal labor can't be exploited as a way to circumvent labor laws.
On the constitution - yeah, that might help the Iraqis a little bit. Especially the whole "no religious test" thing. Not imposing a test of faith on a candidate for public office might seem like a quaint idea in America, but it might work in Iraq...
yep, that sure does sound like the typical chain letter email thats filling my mailbox. You should've added "if you mail this to 10 other people then your party of choice will win the next election"
I'd like to see you do a "This StUFf will mAke YOur D!Ck HaRD and the GiRLz W@nT !T" entry. Those I get almost as much as the "did you know" ones like you just did.
oh and to make an actual comment on the issues you brought up.
I like cows, I don't know any illegal immigrants. So I can't comment on that one. Though, as soon as they cross our borders they better have a green card. I don't care if they'll milk for cheap.
Constitution....well I've made enough BS comments on that one.
Does anyone know what the extras were that Moses(Brooks) dropped in the History of the world part 1?
"Thou shalt not lie" = "Thou shalt not bear false witness", which actually has additional meaning to the law.
The Constitution one made me laugh. The others elicited barely a chuckle. I merely included them all for completeness, and to make it seem like more substance than there was.
Bearing false witness is different from lying - it's more like perjury, which is lying under oath. It's more akin to "don't take God's name in vain," which incidentally has nothing to do with cussing.
OWM - the 11th Commandment is "Thou shalt not squint." There's also "Thou shalt not turn thy Sony Walkman up so loud that it annoyeth others," though that one's a little dated. Brooks goes into it in his "2000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000" routine...
Thanks Jeff.
That's hilarious, I didn't know (or remember) that the other 5 commandments were ever actually specified.
I disagree on "bearing false witness" - while in the parlance of our times it would be more akin to perjury, I'm pretty sure God meant lying in general. But I guess it, like most things biblical, is up to the interpretation of the reader.
Well, it's up to the interpretation of the reader who takes the time to figure out what such terms might have meant in their original language and context. You can't just say, "I'll interpret 'Thou shalt not bear false witness' to mean 'Thou shalt not tickle people.'"
heehee...you're right, we're not using our consitution anyway.
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