Slapping my forehead two times too many

I have smacked my forehead twice over the past couple of days, and I wanted to share these moments of human stupidity.

The first was before a "Simpsons" episode on Sunday (which I taped and didn't watch until Tuesday). It was a rerun of an episode I saw a few months ago, in which Springfield tries to gain prestige by legalizing same sex marriage, and Homer, of course, tries to capitalize on the church's refusal to perform them. Before the episode was a parental advisory, as often appears before "South Park" and "Family Guy". However, this disclaimer was like none I had seen before.

It read: "The following episode contains discussions of same sex marriage. Viewer discretion is advised."

Zuh?

The stupidity of the disclaimer exists on multiple levels. Among them:

• The episode merely contains "discussions" of gay marriage. Not an endorsement. Certainly not an ending in which the entire town of Springfield rejects the notion that the United States has true freedom and starts singing "O Canada" (and yes, that did happen). Canada, incidentally, is moving to recognize same sex marriage (according to The Washington Post, among others).
  
• The people who most need to listen to a frank discussion of same sex marriage, even a humorous and ridiculous one, are the people most likely to turn off the television after reading the advisory.
  
• Where was this disclaimer before the Republican National Convention and Dubya's last two State of the Union speeches? Oh, maybe "discussions of same sex marriage" are okay as long as they are one-sided and narrowly focused on defining gays as second-class citizens. Yeah, that must be it.
  

Wow, I got more riled up about that than I expected to. But those who know me can probably understand why. Anyway, on to the second "D'oh!" moment of the past few days (not related to "The Simpsons").

As I was driving north last night for my weekly dollar pints at Two Rows, I noticed a sign on the side of the highway: "To report drunk driving, dial *DWI".

There are several problems with this one as well. First, how can your average person really spot a drunk driver? Especially around here, where no one signals while switching lanes, red lights are purely advisory, and

Second, when there's a drunk driver on the road, do we really need to add to that another driver trying to spell "DWI" on his cell phone? I mean, sure, it's cute and it's easy to remember, but at least offer the numbers on the sign. Don't make some poor guy going 60 crash while he's searching for the key that has the "W".

Anyway, that's my completely irrelevant rant of the hour. Perhaps I'll be back with something worthwhile soon.

Final note: at the behest of Aaron, I have added a counter to the bottom of my blog to track how many people visit. Whether this will have horrible lasting effects on my self esteem remains to be seen.

Song lyric of the day:
"Now I know I should say no
But it's kinda hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem"
- the Offspring, Self Esteem