A long overdue return to 1950s values

Today, I rejoice in the knowledge that the state I live in, the wonderfully progressive Lone Star State, has taken initiative to improve the sex education programs across the state. The Texas Board of Education has approved a new set of textbooks that emphasize abstinence and reduce discussions of contraception to a bare minimum. Would that they could have left it out altogether. Knowledge of contraception is no doubt the number one reason Texas has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in America.

The Board also insisted that the textbooks define marriage as "a lifelong union between a man and a woman." With any luck, this definition will have two effects: first, it will convince students that homosexuality is a foolish choice (because it is a choice, you know); and second, by emphasizing the lifelong-ness of the union, will help lower Texas's divorce rate, which is one of the highest in the country.

Unfortunately, the textbooks maintain references to sexually transmitted diseases, which should never be an issue since no one engages in sexual activity until marriage, and then only in the missionary position. However, at least they got the facts right this time, citing "getting plenty of rest" among other methods as the best ways to avoid those awful STDs.

I personally would like to thank the Texas Board of Education for taking such strides toward returning our nation to 1950s values. I think it's super swell, and encourage other states to follow suit.

As a final note, dictionary.com defines sarcasm as "a cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound; a form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule."

Or, to put it more simply, Tuck Fexas.

Song lyric of the day:
"Well maybe I'm the faggot America
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda"
-Green Day, "American Idiot"